There is a song in French that reminds me of this situation. It goes ‘Je suis le mendiant de l’amour.’ It means: ‘I am the beggar for love.’ This is me, but I am also a piece of shit.
“The one thing that I don’t want to do is bore myself. Really it’s all the same philosophical enterprise. I’m exploring what it is to be a human being from my perspective and my context and my life.”