There is a song in French that reminds me of this situation. It goes ‘Je suis le mendiant de l’amour.’ It means: ‘I am the beggar for love.’ This is me, but I am also a piece of shit.
“Sometimes I see something so moving I know I’m not supposed to linger. See it and leave. If you stay too long, you wear out the wordless shock. Love it and trust it and leave.”