There is a song in French that reminds me of this situation. It goes ‘Je suis le mendiant de l’amour.’ It means: ‘I am the beggar for love.’ This is me, but I am also a piece of shit.
“I used to be a rather dreamy kid. I’d fantasize a lot and think about different things from the reality I was in. I was the kind of kid who didn’t really ‘believe in reality.’”