akerman-disconnected

September 4, 2024

I don’t feel like I belong, and that’s without real pain, without pride. Pride happens. No, I’m just disconnected, from practically everything. I have a few anchors, and sometimes I let them go or they let me go, and I drift. That’s most of the time. Sometimes I hang on for a few days, minutes, seconds, then I let go again. I can hardly look. I can hardly hear. Semi-blind, semi-deaf, I float. Sometimes I sink. But not quite. Something, sometimes a detail, brings me back to the surface, and I start floating again…

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Thought:

“I had a vision / of all the people in the world / who are searching for God

massed in a room / on one side / of a partition

that looks / from the other side / (God’s side)

transparent / but we are blind. / Our gestures are blind.”

Anne Carson | “My Religion”

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