…The doors and the ground are unstable, shifting… And yet something makes you want to go further, to see if you’ll have the strength to retrieve your reason from the wreckage. Reason can easily become an obsession, as good humor and sleep are for neurasthenics. All you can think of is your reason. Everything’s out of kilter. It’s no joke.
So I was worry along from doubt to doubt when the fourth of May came up. A big day. I was feeling wonderfully well that day. Pulse 78. Like after a good lunch. Then suddenly the world began to spin. I held tight. Everything turns to bile. People start looking weird. As if they’d gone sour like lemons and more malignant than ever before. From climbing too high, no doubt, to the very peak of health, I had fallen in front of the mirror and with passionate fascination was watching myself grow old.
On rotten days like that, mountains of fatigue and disgust accumulate between your nose and your eyes, enough in that one spot to last several men for years. Much too much for one man.
Louis-Ferdinand Céline, Journey to the End of the Night
Happy Star Wars Day from Céline!
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