I’m Not Sure Any More

September 30, 2025

I can’t forget anything. That’s my problem, or so I’ve been told.

I am the mother of Mexico’s poets. I am the only one who held out in the university in 1968, when the riot police and the army came in. I stayed there on my own in the Faculty, shut up in a bathroom, with no food, for more than ten days, for more than fifteen days, from the eighteenth to the thirtieth of September, I think, I’m not sure any more.

I stay there with a book by Pedro Garfías and my satchel, wearing a little white blouse and a pleated sky-blue skirt, and I had more than enough time to think things over. But I couldn’t think about Arturo Belano, because I hadn’t met him yet.

Roberto Bolaño, Amulet

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Thought:

“That fair far spear of light now lays
Its long gold shaft upon the waters.
Ah! might I pass upon its rays
To where it gleams beyond the waters,
Or might my troubled heart be fed
Upon the frail clear light there shed,
Then were my pain at last allay’d.”

Ezra Pound | “Canzon: The Spear”

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