Left the house at the end of the day and I was just going to go to the store and get some stuff for the kids, to get some stuff for the boys and then by the time I get there, you know, and all the stuff I need to find is hidden on the shelves, it’s all tucked away in these arcane, darkened corners of the store, I’m just there for the boys’ crap and suddenly I find myself forced to wade through convenience store esoterica just so I can get them ready for school, I mean I’ve just gotten off work, arrived home and kicked off my shoes, ready to relax and unwind and I’m forced to go to the store to buy this shit so the boys can go to school and then I can go to the store after I get off work and then I can go to the store and get the kids and then I can go to the store and get the kids and then I can go to the store and then I can go to the store and —  

Right there after work, hardly a moment to stop at home to get something to eat, forced to subside on gas station comestibles, no time to shave or apply deodorant or make myself remotely human—oh you need something? You know if you don’t have time I might be able to squeeze something in, I mean I can come over there I just need — no, it’s okay you know, you can just go home — I just need a couple minutes to pick up something else. You don’t want anything? Just whatever is better, yeah? Listen, if you’re still at home and you want something, if you’re hungry then I’ll just come back here so just give me something to go on and I can figure out the details. No, I don’t want anything to drink. I know, I know, it’s a big bowl and I’m sorry if it’s too much. Look, I’m gonna go get — you know if I do that I’ll — I’m sorry if it’s a lot but it’s a little too late to do this now — I know. I’m going out. So you know what to get for yourself? Look, I’m sorry for being a big baby but we’ve never had a problem before and I’m just gonna do what I’ve been doing all along. You have a big house, you can go get a big bowl, or, you know, whatever. You don’t need a bigger room, just get rid of some of your stuff. You have so much shit. I know, I know, it’s just the one thing — I know. I have no money for me, let alone to buy things you don’t need. Anything else and… I’m just saying if you’re going somewhere that you’re gonna get me a little something to eat, right? So I’m just like… I’m just like you, really. And I have no problem with that, I’m just… I’m just not sure how I want to do this. You can… Hold on, you know what I’m gonna do? That’s it. That is it.

You can just be nice or something. I know you’re going home so you can… I know you’re not gonna have any more. I know, I know, I just know. I just know you have no one that you’re going home to. Don’t ask. I’m gonna go get it now so you won’t know. You won’t even be able to tell, I promise. I just want something easy for us. I want it so we — I mean, it’s really all about us. This is altruism. Something like a good job for me to get a little something for us. I just need a lot of money to buy some things, to buy a lot more for me — for us. I don’t have anything else to get. Just a few things for the house. So you don’t want it? Just want it and it’ll be okay. I just don’t have anything that is a good price. I’m not just gonna buy a car or whatever. I’m just trying my money. I want — You don’t have to be like — I’m gonna get some stuff, whatever you want. That’s all you want? And you just have money? And I just need a little money —

In the middle, I want you. And you can be with your friends, but you can’t have me, because you can’t have my kids, because I have my own money. I want you and you don’t want to have any friends with money. I want you and we can’t be friends. I want to be your best friend and I don’t care about what I don’t want. You have a good life even if you have no friends, at least none with whom I’d want to live. I want to live in the end of my heart. I want to live in the end of my heart, centered around my life as I am now living it. I’m living all my best lives all at once and my own best self is not a failure. I have been blessed to be in this life. I am not the one for whom I was in my life, and that’s the one with whom I have to be. I have to be with you for most of my whole existence. I have to be happy for myself. I love my life and my kids I have a good heart I love you I have my own family and my kids I’m a very special place and I’m very special and I’m so happy that you have your best friends I am very special and you have my love and I’m very special to me I am so blessed and I’m very happy that I love my kids and I’m very grateful that you have been so happy to have you know I am very grateful that I have been blessed and blessed and blessed and blessed —

My center is a little something that I have, a little something containing all that you don’t know. You don’t even know how much you want to get and you don’t know if you’re going home and you’re gonna get some stuff that you’re gonna want and I don’t want you to have more stuff to get so I just don’t know how much I just want you know what I mean you know I just want you.