Those Darn Gnomes are no more.

We played our last show Monday at Til-Two. I’m tempted to go long here about the reasons for why we felt it was time to move on though I’m not sure there’s much point. Our future was already somewhat in question before the pandemic lockdown began and after two years without a show it felt we had already stopped existing as a band long before. Obviously, Russell and I aren’t going to stop playing music together, and we already have a new band in the works–more on that later (hopefully).

This show was put together by our friend the always-excellent i.o, who was supposed to embark on a full US tour which unfortunately is no longer happening. We were supposed to play a collaborative set, so the show seemed doubly in jeopardy when he was unable to make it, at least on our end. Thankfully, Christian from Hong Kong Fuck You hooked us up with John Martinez, an incredible drummer who it turns out lives down the street from me. San Diego, the biggest small town…

Or maybe not? I had never heard of two of the four acts on the bill despite both being exactly in my wheelhouse; Darkfriends in particular represented a kind of platonic ideal of abrasive electronic music for me and I hope we can play together again.

This was a bittersweet one. So many great friends were able to make it out, including several from out of town I did not expect to see. Our set was extravagantly violent in the way I always hope they’ll be, so it was nice to go out on something resembling a high note. We played our first “real” (non-house) show at Til-Two nearly a decade ago when we released The Years.

I have to confess I’ve been plagued by serious artistic self-doubt the last two years. Maybe it’s just the desperate need for approval inherent to musicians, but the inability to perform live has crippled my self-worth to a genuinely embarrassing degree. I’ve been treating this show and next month’s tour (see below) as my test run for retirement, as it were; after so much time away from the stage, I’m anxious to see if whatever I got from it previously is still out there.

It turns out it is.

No one reads this blog, but I’ll put these words out there anyway: if you were along for the ride this last decade, thank you. Every single person in my life today can be traced back in some way to my experiences in this band, and I hold each and every one dearly in my heart. I’d say I wouldn’t change a thing, but going forward things look pretty different. I hope you’ll all be here to see them with me.

Post-show Denny’s order: Grand Slamwich + Diner Q sauce. Our waiter was unaware his restaurant carried this mysterious new sauce so it was my pleasure to keep him informed of new products.

Driving to the show playlist:

Denzel Curry – ZUU

Cam’ron – Purple Haze

YNW Melly – “Murder on My Mind”

And about that tour…

I’ll be playing synth for Executioner’s Mask on a run of shows across the south with Expander next month. We’ll be playing songs from the new album Winterlong (out June 17th on Profound Lore (!)), many of which I helped to write. If you’re in the area, I hope to see you there.